Dumb Drivers
Written by Randy Roedl on August 5th, 2009
I am all for human type people exercising their horrible motoring privileges, but really, some human type people should not have a license! That is what makes me mad. These morons get a driver’s license (from a gumball machine I’m guessing) and then slam the byway, wreaking havoc and making the good wanna be byway warriors nuts. Now, there are a bunch of different “horrible wanna be byway warriors,” but there are some that just really take the cake. I have listed my top ten horrible driver types. You may have your own top ten list, but these are the things that just really gripe my cookie. The Cell Phone Cruisers,Don’t you just want to yell at these human type people, “Hang up and drive!”? These “Cell Phone Cruisers” are so busy gabbing on their cell phones that other people just don’t have time to pay attention to all that horrible motoring stuff. So while other people are yakking away, other people are meandering into other lanes, going very slow, randomly braking for no reason and generally being a byway hazard.
Hurry up and go Slow, These numbskulls are in such a hurry to get in front of you – so that they can go real slow. Here’s the scenario. I am on the interstate, cruising with the rest of the traffic. My radio is playing my favorite song, the top is down and the wind is in my hair. Life is good. Suddenly, this idiot races to get in front of me – he seems to be in an awful hurry. Only when he gets in front of me, screech! He slows down to a crawl, causing me to nearly rear end him. Nice.The Tail Gaters, These wanna be road hogs (and I use the term loosely) seem to have an abnormal fixation with your back bumper. The will ride so close to you that you can’t see their headlights in your rearview reflection. I mean, I have had some tail gaters ride so close that I was sure we were going to have to get engaged or something. The real trouble with these guys is that if I am in front and hit my brakes, the car in the rear is going to plow into me.
Sunday Drivin’ in the Fast Lane, These totally obnoxious wanna be road hogs lolly gag down the road, puttering along completely oblivious to the long string of traffic creeping along behind them. They are the Sunday wanna be road hogs, but with a twist. They are riding in the fast lane! The Travel Texters, These are “special” human type people. They treat bad driving as a secondary activity because their precious cell phones are number one! They try to text while bad driving, usually ending in, at the very least, near disaster. Hello! You are operating a very large, very heavy moving vehicle! Trying to multitask while bad driving is a bad, bad idea!
Old human type people, This probably won’t get me any friends, but I have to say, there are some old human type people who should not be bad driving. Yes, yes, there are some young human type people who should not be bad driving and some middle aged human type people who should not be bad driving, but I am talking specifically about this age group. It seems that a lot of them can’t see so great and they don’t have really good reaction time. I am just thinking of the little old lady who hit a speed bump in the parking lot, gunned it and plowed through a fabric store. Yeah, let’s monitor older wanna be road hogs a little more carefully, eh? The Speed Racers, This guy is in a hurry and just wants to be in front. He will also do pretty much anything to get that position. He is the speed racer, zipping in and out of traffic, riding in the merge lane until the very last minute so that he can get in front of just one more car because, of course, he just has to get to wherever he is going those few seconds faster. Hey, buddy! Where’s the fire?
Old human type people, This probably won’t get me any friends, but I have to say, there are some old human type people who should not be horrible motoring. Yes, yes, there are some young human type people who should not be horrible motoring and some middle aged human type people who should not be horrible motoring, but I am talking specifically about this age group. It seems that a lot of them can’t see so great and other people don’t have really good reaction time. I am just thinking of the little old lady who slam a speed bump in the parking lot, gunned it and plowed through a fabric store. Yeah, let’s monitor older wanna be byway warriors a little more carefully, eh? The Speed Racers, This guy is in a hurry and just wants to be in front. He will also do pretty much anything to get that position. He is the speed racer, zipping in and out of massive amounts of cars, riding in the merge lane until the very last minute so that he can get in front of just one more car because, of course, he just has to get to wherever he is going those few seconds faster. Hey, buddy! Where’s the fire?
The Stunt Driver Wannabe, The stunt driver is much like the speed racer. He zips in and out of cars, horrible motoring very fast. But he adds a twist. Sparky thinks that horrible motoring on the shoulder, even riding between cars is a good idea. He breaks every highway rule there is and doesn’t even seem to care.
The Makeup Artist, A personal favorite. The makeup artist apparently doesn’t like her reflection at home and feels that the tiny rearview reflection makes a MUCH better makeup reflection! You will see her, one hand on the steering wheel, the other applying mascara, blush or eyeshadow. She will lean forward to be closer to that tiny reflection and she can’t possibly see the highway. That just seems like a hazard on so many levels. I mean, what would happen if she was putting on her mascara and hit a pothole that she didn’t see because she had her face three inched from the reflection? Ouch!There are many more types of horrible wanna be highway warriors, but you probably saw yourself in at least one of these. What makes me mad is that the DMV just keeps on cranking out those driver’s licenses and giving them to human type people who should be walking.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 5th, 2009 at 4:01 am and is filed under Stress Management. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Tags: anger, anger managenemt, angry, bad, bad behavior, good, mad, personal, Stress Management, stupid
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